Stay with me while I get this whole story out!
Last night we went to Alice and Gene's house like usual for dinner. We took Calvin with us also as usual. Unfortunately, Calvin has a tendancy to roam while we are at their house. (I realize that this is not being a good doggie mommy) I have told Eric about it before but he never had seen it and so he didn't think it was that bad. Just me be overly paranoid. Alice and Gene live in a relatively rural area so there is lots of room for Calvin to play which is why we take him. Plus, all Eric's dogs growing up were outside without a fence so that was just normal to him. Anyway, last night Eric finally saw how frustrating and scary it can be when the dog doesn't come back. We called and called when it was time to leave and after about 5 minutes in trots Calvin looking happy as a clam. However, Andrew by this time had completely started to melt down and was in tears over the dog. He sobbed that he had a bad dream that Calvin had gotten smushed by a car. Now, I have no idea where he would have gotten that idea other than his own little boy brain but it was very sweet and super sad to me that my little guy was so upset over his doggie. He called his scary thought a bad dream which was super helpful to me because he periodically gets up within minutes of going to bed to tell me that he is scared and had a bad dream. Now I know that "bad dream" is his lingo for a scary thought. Now I can understand his lingo even though all I really can do is pray with him and tell him just to think about something else!
Then tonight just before bed Andrew pops out with this question to Eric, "Who would we stay with if you and mommy died?" WHAT???? Why is my 4 year old even thinking about that? I don't know what could have brought that one on but I assured him that he didn't have to worry about it. Then he asked again! So, I just simply told him that he would stay with Penny (his actual guardian- Eric and I were on top that in our will) and that seemed to reassure him completely. He did ask where he would sleep but didn't seem too concerned when I didn't know. He went to bed fine tonight so it must not be on his mind too much but it was so hard for me to reassure him about us dying. I think that just being honest was the best way to go about it, but I still wanted to only protect him and not have him worry about it at all. Unfortunately, I think if I hadn't told him the truth then he would have obsessed about it or felt like he shouldn't ask me those type of things and that would be the last thing I want. Maybe since I don't want to think about me dying and not being here made the topic weird for me. Sigh.... I just hope he is done with those type of topics for a little while. They are kinda draining for this mommy!
P.S. Calvin is now completely forbidden to go to Alice and Gene's house without being chained up. I am not willing to deal with another hysterically sobbing 4 year old anytime soon! And Eric agreed that he is not to be trusted to stay around the house :)
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